Pinoy Kasi -- Lessons from Kris and Joey (October 7, 2003)

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07 October 2003

Lessons from Kris and Joey ?

Former President Corazon Aquino accompanies daughter Kris to file a case against Joey Marquez

NOW that Kris Aquino has gotten her apology from ex-lover Joey Marquez, I hope we will be spared from more of her hysterics and histrionics. It's bad enough that we'll have to live the next few weeks with that other ham actress, Tita Glo, trying to convince people she is running for election only because she cares so much for us.

I did want to talk a bit though about the fallout from the KJ [Kris-Joey] coverage. My colleagues in public health work keep trying to console me, arguing that Kris has at least helped raise people's consciousness about domestic violence and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Women's crisis hotlines reported an increase in the number of callers reporting domestic violence, and Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit came out to warn the public that STIs were on the rise and that this could lead to an AIDS epidemic.

But the impression I got from talking with people on the street and listening to talk shows on AM radio stations is that this KJ roadshow has moved us backwards, plunging the nation into thicker fog when it comes to understanding sexual issues.

First, on the domestic violence issue. I wrote last week that the way the KJ affair was being publicized, there was the danger of domestic violence becoming trivialized, seen as one of those accidents coming with lovers' spats. I've always felt "gender-based violence" and "violence against women" are more accurate terms, highlighting the unequal power relationships that cause the violence.

From what I was hearing in the mass media, the gender issue rarely came up. This should not be surprising. It was, and still is, difficult for people to think of Kris as a powerless female, because in fact she is not.

People point out that women's groups found they were handling more phone calls from battered women. That is well and good. But I'd be curious to find out, as well, if there was a drop in the number of domestic violence cases during the Kris crisis. I was watching a television show the other night, produced at the height of the KJ crisis, and it had scenes from a police precinct, which still had the usual cases of women complaining about being beaten up by their husbands or boyfriends.

Even more revealing, one of the accused who was interviewed, behind bars, continued to insist it was his right to be beat up his wife, as well as his sister-in-law. "Lalaki ako [I am a man]," he said. I wouldn't be surprised, frankly, if there were men out there actually admiring Mayor Joey, following Kris' accusations, for being "a man."

Which takes me to the second issue: STIs. One dzMM radio commentator claimed that he overheard some tricycle drivers talking among themselves about "tulo" (a generic term for STIs involving discharge from the penis). According to the commentator, one of the tricycle drivers said that if Joey Marquez could get tulo, then why shouldn't they follow his lead? Even if that was said as a joke, it tells us a lot about how the Kris-Joey affair could take a rather aberrant twist, maybe reinforcing machismo attitudes.

What I was most alarmed with though was the way the health secretary's pronouncements on STIs were (mis)interpreted. Dayrit had urged the public to take preventive measures, including the use of condoms. So what messages got to the public? For one hour on an early morning radio show, I had to listen to two male commentators talking about how an AIDS epidemic would explode because the government had neglected family planning. The message the commentators got, and they repeated this several times, was that "contraceptives" prevent STIs. They had heard right about condoms preventing STIs but extended condoms to include all contraceptives.

Let's get things straight: Condoms do prevent STIs, including HIV/AIDS. But pills don't. Neither does the IUD, or withdrawal, or aspirin, or whatever else people are using to prevent pregnancies. Condoms, on the other hand, do prevent both pregnancies and STIs.

Besides the confusion around the prevention of STIs, there was also a lot of talk about toilet seats as a cause of STIs. I even caught actress Melanie Marquez (Joey's sister) making that claim on a radio interview. I don't know if that was her way of defending her brother or if she actually believed that myth.

Let's get this straight again: You do not get STIs from toilet seats, or from casual contact. As the term implies, you need to have sex to get the infection, otherwise we'd call them TTIs (toilet-transmitted infections) ... okay, the smart alecks can play on the "TT" as well.

So did the public come to understand STIs better? I doubt it. Filipino-style, there were more jokes about STIs than serious discussions. Sample joke I picked up on radio: If you get STIs through sex, then how do you get AMAs?

To further complicate matters, religious conservatives came out with their old claims that condoms don't prevent STIs. Where does that leave our Kris and Joey wannabes? Probably taking on the attitude: Oh well, I can't be monogamous, and condoms don't work, that's life.

Meanwhile, I suspect we haven't heard the last of this KJ soap. I leave it to readers to speculate on what the next chapter of this cheap soap opera will be. Will they get back together again? Or will Kris keep her (televised) promise to her mother about becoming the daughter Cory deserves? Will that mean she will now run for senator on the Lakas slate? Will she win?

Will our nightmares ever end?